Monday 10 October is World Mental Health Day. At the Mental Health First Aid website there are lots of very useful resources that can be used. Please click HERE to see what is available.
Monday, 19 September 2016
Tuesday, 13 September 2016
Leaving it all at the school gate
Back when I started teaching I received all sorts of warnings about professional conduct and school expectations. I remember once being told that we should, as professionals, leave our personal life at the school gates. Fair enough I thought I shouldn't be talking to your pupils about my marriage or how the decorating is going, but what was actually meant is that I should also leave by worries at the school gate and not let them interfere with school life.
Think of all the difficult and frankly bad things that happen in our lives, buying houses, illness, bereavement, relationships, divorce, money problems, children and so on. Who hasn't experienced at least a few of these? Inevitably they impact on our emotions and that determines our moods, how we see ourselves, how we think others see us, how we see others and how we see our lives. Essentially our experiences shape our entire emotional being and yet some people believe we should be able to separate these off for 8 or 9 hours a day. Quite honestly it is ridiculous to tell anyone to leave their troubles at the gate.
The key to this is about being emotionally self-aware, being honest with yourself and "giving a name" to these factors that shape your emotions. If you are conscious of your emotions, their causes and their impact on you, you do stand a better chance of being able to manage them rather than letting them control you. We all have bad days and I know I do not always practice what I preach though I like to think I'm getting better. Nevertheless none of us want our emotions to impact on a negative way on our pupils and our other school work.
I have various ways of dealing with bad days and bad spells in life. This may seem trivial but I am fortunate in being able to walk to work, and that work is neither too far nor too close. In the half an hour there and back I can address most of my personal issues; I am neither at home (which is the root of some problems) nor at school (which may also be the root of further problems) where they manifest themselves. I also have a few trusted colleagues with whom I can be honest. I used to bottle-up my worries and found that they became rather self-destructive. Now I can chat to a couple of people in the morning (or whenever) and it makes me feel a whole lot better.
Leaders have a part to play, not only should they not set unreasonable expectations on staff but they must also care for themselves. The ideal is that colleagues feel comfortable discussing issues with leaders and knowing that they won't be told to pull themselves together, rather that they will receive emotional support. However at a bare minimum they need to know that their emotions are not barred at the perimeter fence.
I mentioned leaders must also care for themselves; leadership can be very lonely and as a headteacher I know this all too well. The higher up you go the lonelier it gets. You have to be more guarded and your circle within the staff inevitably shrinks. Nevertheless you need to find someone. I have been fortunate in that I have always had another senior leader to talk to; my deputy comes into my office every morning and he asks how I am, and that makes such a difference.
Finally the opposite is not certainly untrue. Whilst some schools may expect you to leave negative emotions at the gate no-one expects you to leave being jolly and full of vigour behind when you cross the school threshold! Imagine turning up at school, full of life, on top of the world and then forcing yourself to be miserable just in time for lesson 1.
Think of all the difficult and frankly bad things that happen in our lives, buying houses, illness, bereavement, relationships, divorce, money problems, children and so on. Who hasn't experienced at least a few of these? Inevitably they impact on our emotions and that determines our moods, how we see ourselves, how we think others see us, how we see others and how we see our lives. Essentially our experiences shape our entire emotional being and yet some people believe we should be able to separate these off for 8 or 9 hours a day. Quite honestly it is ridiculous to tell anyone to leave their troubles at the gate.
The key to this is about being emotionally self-aware, being honest with yourself and "giving a name" to these factors that shape your emotions. If you are conscious of your emotions, their causes and their impact on you, you do stand a better chance of being able to manage them rather than letting them control you. We all have bad days and I know I do not always practice what I preach though I like to think I'm getting better. Nevertheless none of us want our emotions to impact on a negative way on our pupils and our other school work.
I have various ways of dealing with bad days and bad spells in life. This may seem trivial but I am fortunate in being able to walk to work, and that work is neither too far nor too close. In the half an hour there and back I can address most of my personal issues; I am neither at home (which is the root of some problems) nor at school (which may also be the root of further problems) where they manifest themselves. I also have a few trusted colleagues with whom I can be honest. I used to bottle-up my worries and found that they became rather self-destructive. Now I can chat to a couple of people in the morning (or whenever) and it makes me feel a whole lot better.
Leaders have a part to play, not only should they not set unreasonable expectations on staff but they must also care for themselves. The ideal is that colleagues feel comfortable discussing issues with leaders and knowing that they won't be told to pull themselves together, rather that they will receive emotional support. However at a bare minimum they need to know that their emotions are not barred at the perimeter fence.
I mentioned leaders must also care for themselves; leadership can be very lonely and as a headteacher I know this all too well. The higher up you go the lonelier it gets. You have to be more guarded and your circle within the staff inevitably shrinks. Nevertheless you need to find someone. I have been fortunate in that I have always had another senior leader to talk to; my deputy comes into my office every morning and he asks how I am, and that makes such a difference.
Finally the opposite is not certainly untrue. Whilst some schools may expect you to leave negative emotions at the gate no-one expects you to leave being jolly and full of vigour behind when you cross the school threshold! Imagine turning up at school, full of life, on top of the world and then forcing yourself to be miserable just in time for lesson 1.
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